When men achieve something, it is more often celebrated with much fanfare. Several stories attest to the common phenomenon that when women achieve something similar, their efforts are not as celebrated. Well, that’s patriarchy. Nowadays with the feminist discourse coming out so strong, women don’t hold back from grabbing their share of attention. They even go overboard in promoting themselves, especially with social media to amplify their presence and voice.
But let’s go back to a time when feminism and women’s rights weren’t mainstream. Most women making silent contributions behind the scenes have been lost in the pages of history which are mostly filled with men’s glory. The contributions of women have mostly been overshadowed by their husband’s achievements and their struggles and sacrifices have just been taken for granted as womanly duty. Such is the story of Yashodhara, Prince Siddhartha’s wife.
Prince Siddhartha was born in Nepal and so was Yashodhara. Siddhartha in Lumbini and Yashodhara in Devdaha as her father was a Koliyan Prince. The two married when both were 16 years of age and at 29, Siddhartha decided to leave his wife and newborn son to renounce the world. He did not even wish them goodbye and quietly left at night.
To be left by your husband without any explanation must have been unimaginably painful. Yet Yashodhara took it in her stride.
Yashodhara is the invincible wife who gained monkhood without having to abandon anyone. The one who walked the spiritual path as well as that of professional and personal duties. She was among the 13 great disciples of Buddha who attained spiritual wisdom and became an “Arhat” (monks who reached an advanced level of enlightenment but not full Buddhahood). She achieved it without letting go of her responsibilities as a mother, a wife, a daughter-in-law, and a Princess! She proved to the world that spiritual fulfillment can be achieved within your premise without having to let go of your duties.
It is believed that Yashodhara received many marriage proposals but she rejected them all.
She let go of all her pain of being abandoned and decided to follow her husband’s path even inside the palace. She denounced all luxuries and lived in a hut inside the palace gardens. She had just one meal a day like her husband and kept track of all his monkhood activities so that she could follow suit. Had Yashodhara acted differently; behaved vengefully, remorsefully, or tried to gain Siddhartha’s attention back to their family life, especially with a newborn son, would the world have been blessed with the enlightened Buddha? She set him free and hence he could pursue his mission in peace.
Legend says that when Buddha came back home after 6 years, he thanked her for her undying support. All she asked was why he had to escape like a thief at night without telling her, she would have wholeheartedly supported his wish anyways. To this, the Buddha is believed to have had no reply and apologized profusely.
In Lumbini, there is no place dedicated to this powerful and sincere woman. Yes, nothing can surpass the achievements of the great Buddha but does love, sacrifice, and support of a wife not matter at all? When will history highlight the silent sacrifices of those less known souls? When will “his-story” be also written as “her-story?”
